Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Glow.

In my dream, my ex Kyle somehow found out that I am with Dani and how happy we are together. He put me into some kind of trance and blocked her from my memory. He locked me in a dark room and kept me hidden from all others. He made me believe that I loved him, and though in the back of my mind hesitation lingered, I could not figure out exactly where it stemmed from. After being trapped under his spell for so long, I started to go mad; to search for answers. What was I doing here?
This didn't feel like happiness.
One day he asked if I would love him forever, I paused and asked what forever meant. He said, "Something eternal", then slouched over in a chair in the corner and dozed off. I paced around the room in the darkness, chewing on the words that had been left for scraps. Then suddenly it hit me. I didn't know where Dani was or she'd still have me, but I knew I MUST find her. All at once everything seemed so clear, this wasn't where I belonged--it never was.
I found a window ajar and forced it open. Kyle awoke from the noise and demanded to know what it was I thought I was doing. I screamed at him to stay back, to let me go. That I had a love out there in the untamed world and would stop at nothing to find it. I screamed how he belittled me and crawled inside my head, how I knew deep down that I did not love him and he never truly loved me. He had wanted to love me, no...he had dreamed for someone to love him, that he could be somebody's world. I bounded out the window as he fumbled after me, but I was already gone. The spell had been broken.
My love for her still beat strong within my heart. I would run until my legs crumbled so that I could find her, hold her, become one with her. The sky overhead drizzled and dripped it's darkness upon me. I hadn't a clue where my legs were leading me, but I did not cease. I COULD NOT turn back.
My dad was driving back to the house with my younger sister and her friend when they found me. They scooped me up and patted dry my damp clothes. I soon discovered the room I'd been held captive in was none other than my parents living room; he'd caged me within my own comfort. Then our search began. We drove through blackened cities and barren countryside, but to no avail.
We eventually retired in my parents' garage, thawing food from the freezer to eat and melting ice to quench our thirst. My dad rolled over a cooler and propped it up against the wall. He waited until Felicia and Lauren were distracted and then whispered to me that he might know a way for me to reach her. "I will do anything", I replied, "Whatever it takes." He nodded and led me toward the empty cooler. He explained there was a portal inside, but once within it there was no guarantee I could come back, or what dangers I would face. Lastly, I'd have to cross the threshold alone. But I was not afraid, I knew wherever she existed was where I wanted to be, and that our love would be more than all the strength I could ever wish to muster alone. So I hugged my dad and crawled inside the cooler. Right before I crossed over I saw a blinding light, brighter than any ray of sunshine, and in that moment I knew that she was the glow on the other side.

2 comments:

  1. Where did November go? Also, I have dreams like this often, being held captive in my own world, made to not recognize it. Angela is usually the culprit, but occassionally Rich.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i was JUST wondering the same thing. but honestly, save last night and a few others, my dreams haven't been overly noteworthy. they have been following the same drab/dreary plot for quite some time, so this was a breath of fresh air.

    ReplyDelete